Portrait of the Programmer as a Young Man
From Rick Smolan’s A Day in the Life of California (1989)via Steve Jurvetson
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Dear Girl in Space,
I'm lying here, in the dark, trying to remember the times when we looked at each other without weight on our shoulders. We didn't speak because the music was too loud. But we didn't need to.
My eyes and bones are tired from pretending I don't need to hear you.
Girl in Space, please show your face. I'm stuck in the sky collecting the stars for you. If you want them, I need you to pull me down.
I want to forget all the rocks we made each other carry, and all the canyons we filled with our tears. I wanted to hurt when you were hurting, and you wanted to run when I didn't realise I needed to.
I'm dangling here, suspended by threads that are too thin to think about.
Girl in Space, I can see the skyline. I'm trying to be something other than what I am. I need you to think me down.
I need to say sorry to you for the feelings I left you with. And to your family for destroying their universe.
I thought too hard and I'm falling now. But I hope you remember everything I do.
The rocks we carried,
The canyons we filled,
And the words we didn't say, but that we wish we did.
I'm laying here, in the dark.
Thinking you back to sleep.
That's where you exist.
I'm lying here, in the dark, trying to remember the times when we looked at each other without weight on our shoulders. We didn't speak because the music was too loud. But we didn't need to.
My eyes and bones are tired from pretending I don't need to hear you.
Girl in Space, please show your face. I'm stuck in the sky collecting the stars for you. If you want them, I need you to pull me down.
I want to forget all the rocks we made each other carry, and all the canyons we filled with our tears. I wanted to hurt when you were hurting, and you wanted to run when I didn't realise I needed to.
I'm dangling here, suspended by threads that are too thin to think about.
Girl in Space, I can see the skyline. I'm trying to be something other than what I am. I need you to think me down.
I need to say sorry to you for the feelings I left you with. And to your family for destroying their universe.
I thought too hard and I'm falling now. But I hope you remember everything I do.
The rocks we carried,
The canyons we filled,
And the words we didn't say, but that we wish we did.
I'm laying here, in the dark.
Thinking you back to sleep.
That's where you exist.
